From all to nothing
A C E I J
All on one page
To get some time to think I toss you the cigarettes. I consider it, a long time. Whatever I say -yes or no - I am quite sure I'll regret it. But in the end it's a simple choice.
"Thank you, but no. I want to, but I don't think I'd be able to stop once I've crossed that line."
"Okay." You stand up and come to my chair, pick up your clothes and drop the pack of cigarettes in my lap. You lean forward, so your breasts are hanging right in front of my face and shake your sholders so they bounce against your t-shirt.
"That wasn't necessary" I protest as you straighten up.
"No," you smile mischievously, "but I know I can trust you." You bend forward and kiss me castily on the cheek. "And now you know it too."
Later, much later, I lie awake on the couch waiting for the room to stop spinning around. My thoughts are spinning too, around you, your body, and your soul. They spin around two very different things - what is, and what could have been.
If I listen closely, I can hear your slow breaths from the bedroom, and in the end that's what lulls me into sleep
Copyright Örjan Westin 2001, 2005